On Redemption

I got into a weird place at my old job. My boss moved me into a new position, that was really quite different from the old job function I held. "We hired this new guy" he told me, "and we think he can do a better job of creating a differentiated and compelling product vision than you." Hmm, I said. "And you are an expert at shipping products, so we will put you into this job over here that is leading up the project managers." I'll get back to you, I said.

I went home to talk to my husband, who is so very supportive of me, it brings me to tears when I really think about it. He reminded me that the last time I worked a job I wasn't really made to do, I was miserable. I got bored so quickly. And a bored me is a bad me.

I also started thinking about the larger picture here. I had worked diligently for this company for more than 11 years. Put off having kids because I was so dedicated to the job. Made many sacrifices, including having only two "unplugged" vacations in 11 years. And it had come down to the fact that my skillset was completely unappreciated by the company. Not just unappreciated, but underappreciated.

My personal brand, what I had worked so hard to achieve, was not what I had imagined it to be. Those above me in the management hierarchy thought my skillset was completely different than it actually was. Anyone who worked more than 15 minutes with me knew that doing the task of project management was NOT in my wheelhouse. In fact, it was a running joke how horribly disorganized I was. When I was a project manager 6 years earlier, I was running a project involving a team of over 200 people, and when I left the position and had to transition the project to another project manager, my "transition" document was an email with everyone's name in it. I said, well, I think I have this plan in my head, and that's all the people that are working on it. Not much skill there for a project manager. In the next 6 years, I never evolved my horribly lacking project manager skills, even though the company in general evolved what was asked of the project managers. And now I was being told to lead a group of people who's job function I didn't even understand. Uh, how about putting me in charge of the finance department? I probably would have had just about the same amount of chance of understanding how to lead the accountants.

How did it get to this? Not sure. I was never one to suck up. I had always had my own style. I had never been afraid to speak my mind, whether it was to the CEO or to a brand-new hire. I figured if that person didn't want my honesty, then that was their shortcoming.

Having some time, and going through the stages of grief, denial, anger, etc etc, I came to realize that it wasn't that the management of that company didn't get ME; it was that they weren't product people and didn't understand what it meant to create compelling products. And, I probably pissed them off at some time. Oh, and I was hugely pregnant and on maternity leave for 6 months--hard to make an impression in that state ;-)

What the management at that company didn't understand, and doesn't understand, is that being a 'product leader" is not just about coming up with ideas -- which my replacement was obviously great at. Its about coming up with ideas, turning them into an actual set of achievable plans, and making micro-decisions along the way about the end-user experience in order to achieve something that is functional, enjoyable, has "smile" moments (where you have surprised the user into enjoying something more than they thought they would), works, matches your business goals and reflects the value proposition for users that your brand is communicating to the market. Its inspiring people to understand the vision of what you are trying to accomplish, how that vision translates into a positive for the company, and thus why they should believe in you and work their ass off to accomplish said set of tasks. Its getting to know each member of the team, to understand what motivates them so that you can speak their language and create individual motivation points for each team member to bring out their best. Its raising the level of people who work around you. Its creating a cohesion so that all voices feel heard and valued and motivated. Its about convincing your team that all the great ideas are theirs (even when/if they aren't). Its about achieving an end while making the means as enjoyable as possible for everyone.

So after I asked to be given a layoff package--and to my old boss's credit, he complied and I was able to pay for my son's college education in one fell swoop because of it--I spent a lot of time second-guessing my skills, my passion, and my sense of where I belonged and what I wanted to do 'when i grow up.'

I signed on with Chris McGill to build out an idea he had from scratch. I created requirements, hired a brilliant tech guy, a web developer wunderkind, made wireframes, supervised the creation of a design, and shipped www.mixx.com.

And got more than 100 glowing reviews, a surprisingly large amount of raving fans who have created their own mixx fan site, and 7 other ex-coworkers who chose to leave that other company and come work with me.

Redemption.