I've had a few frustration points in my life recently. In the case of all of them, it was a perfect storm of lots of little things in a specific area building up over time and bubbling over into a few "I can't take this anymore" type of thoughts.
I had a long discussion with Troy (hubby) about them, and he gave me some great advice while we were riding the bus back from NYC last weekend. The advice was simple:
"Don't Care As Much"
In the week that followed, I looked at some of the situations and people that were frustrating me so greatly. And I realized that the most frustrating thing about these people and situations were that they weren't going to change. And I couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Before Troy dispensed his sage advice, I would have spent hours of frustrated effort trying to improve the person or situations around me. My anger and frustration and stress growing by the minute.
Now I've come to realize that its ok to not have everything around me perfect. That "good" can get you through the day. That in the whole big scheme of things, spending more time with my son, and working on my own projects is smarter, easier and less stressful than killing myself over something I can't control.
I was mortified my last annual review at AOL netted me a "Meets Expectations" grade (3 out 5, received by 85% of employees) . It was the first time I was not graded "outstanding" (5 out of 5) since they started doing those reviews in the late 90s. The new me wouldn't be mortified. I'd be pleased that I spent those extra hours with the two people I love the most, enjoying my life.
In the end, isn't that the right attitude? Isn't that what its all about?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Cool little meme
This image above is generated by the following:
The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
The questions:
1. What is your first name? Kerry
2. What is your favorite food? Macaroni and Cheese
3. What high school did you go to? Trumbull
4. What is your favorite color? Black
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Dean Cain
6. Favorite drink? Chardonnay
7. Dream vacation? Tokyo
8. Favorite dessert? Cupcakes
9. What you want to be when you grow up? archaeologist
10. What do you love most in life? Zack and Troy
11. One Word to describe you. reliable
12. Your flickr name. kaparkins
Of all the great photos I found doing these searches on flickr, these were the best. Links to them where you can get the full information on the awesome photographers who took them (they put me to shame!):
1. county kerry, 2. Nobody Does It Better, 3. At the old ball game..., 4. Perspective Matters (500 unique and cool people count this photo as a favorite), 5. deancain0013, 6. Chardonnay!, 7. The neon lights, 8. candy pop land, 9. The Mausoleum of Qin Shi Huangdi, 10. star leaf fringed in moon gate [─► this sweetgum leaf was before erroneously starred as a maple leaf ◄─], 11. The Wonder of Christmas, 12. Z asleep on the way there
Sunday, July 13, 2008
New York State of Mind
Just got back from New York City. Again.
I had a great time this past weekend, hanging with my 4 friends from high school. We played native New Yorkers and ate at some great local places. We also played tourists and took the Circle Line boat around the southern part of Manhattan and under the Statue of Liberty. I haven't been near Lady Liberty since junior high and I had forgotten what an amazing place it was.
I traveled on the Megabus again. Unlike last time where I paid a whopping $6.00 for my ticket, this weekend, I paid $2.50. Roundtrip! Woo hoo! We ran into some glitches on the way up. First was traffic (of course). The teeny-tiny State of Delaware must be using its entire GDP to tear up I-95 because it was a parking lot from the Maryland border all the way over the Delaware Memorial Bridge. And then, once we got on the Jersey Turnpike, the bus driver pulled over. Unexpectedly. Told us that she had driven too many hours and was waiting for another bus driver to be delivered by company car to relieve her. Now note that this didn't occur because we were so delayed that she was on the road longer than expected. Oh no. She ran out of time well before our planned arrival time in NYC. We sat for 35mins waiting. Then, after getting back on the road again, we got stuck in one of those legendary 45min backups through the Lincoln Tunnel. After all was said and done, we arrived 1.5 hours late into the city.
The way back was better. We only had some smoking tires to deal with, but only had to wait 10 mins for a new bus to arrive. But the bus driver was intent on showing the movie Lake Placid 2 on the bus. It was a horror movie, obviously rated "R" and yet there was some kids on the bus. Very odd. And the movie was a train wreck. Thankfully not a bus wreck though. Even with the dang Delaware traffic, ony 20 mins late.
In the end, even with the delays, I would still travel megabus again. So cheap, really convenient, and takes as long as driving without the exorbitant parking fees!
I wish I was staying in NY for a few more games. The All Star game is at Yankee Stadium in its final year. I would have liked to be there for that.
At this rate, it will be a while before I head back to the Big Apple, but the last two weekends made memories that will last me for a while...
I had a great time this past weekend, hanging with my 4 friends from high school. We played native New Yorkers and ate at some great local places. We also played tourists and took the Circle Line boat around the southern part of Manhattan and under the Statue of Liberty. I haven't been near Lady Liberty since junior high and I had forgotten what an amazing place it was.
I traveled on the Megabus again. Unlike last time where I paid a whopping $6.00 for my ticket, this weekend, I paid $2.50. Roundtrip! Woo hoo! We ran into some glitches on the way up. First was traffic (of course). The teeny-tiny State of Delaware must be using its entire GDP to tear up I-95 because it was a parking lot from the Maryland border all the way over the Delaware Memorial Bridge. And then, once we got on the Jersey Turnpike, the bus driver pulled over. Unexpectedly. Told us that she had driven too many hours and was waiting for another bus driver to be delivered by company car to relieve her. Now note that this didn't occur because we were so delayed that she was on the road longer than expected. Oh no. She ran out of time well before our planned arrival time in NYC. We sat for 35mins waiting. Then, after getting back on the road again, we got stuck in one of those legendary 45min backups through the Lincoln Tunnel. After all was said and done, we arrived 1.5 hours late into the city.
The way back was better. We only had some smoking tires to deal with, but only had to wait 10 mins for a new bus to arrive. But the bus driver was intent on showing the movie Lake Placid 2 on the bus. It was a horror movie, obviously rated "R" and yet there was some kids on the bus. Very odd. And the movie was a train wreck. Thankfully not a bus wreck though. Even with the dang Delaware traffic, ony 20 mins late.
In the end, even with the delays, I would still travel megabus again. So cheap, really convenient, and takes as long as driving without the exorbitant parking fees!
I wish I was staying in NY for a few more games. The All Star game is at Yankee Stadium in its final year. I would have liked to be there for that.
At this rate, it will be a while before I head back to the Big Apple, but the last two weekends made memories that will last me for a while...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Why Am I an Obama Supporter
I plan on voting in this next election. Although I've had the right to vote since 1986, I have exercised my right to not vote. In general, I dislike politicians. Besides my life not much being changed by whomever is in office (both locally and nationally), I have a deep suspicion of people who are so hungry for power. I know that I can probably do as good a job as most politicians do, but that still doesn't inspire me to run for office. I don't understand the motivation to be a politician--I just don't.
As far as my own political beliefs, I'm really quite in the middle, overall. There are some things I firmly believe in that are historically "Republican" and some that are historically "Democratic." What I don't believe in is extremism--either on the right or the left. I think people that are way right-wing or way left-wing are just wrong. And there is no party that matches my views, no candidate. That remains true today.
On the right, you have people that are sheep--they listen to leaders who are trying to advance their own agendas and they don't question what they are hearing. They accept it when Rush Limbaugh tells them that Alaskan pipelines are good because pipelines give the animals that live in Alaska a warm place to snuggle up to (no, really). They believe when their religious leader tells them that some parts of the Old Testament need to be obeyed 100% without question (man shouldn't lay with man) and others can be ignored (stone the wife if she cheats) and that's all in line with what God says. This type of blind following holds true to all people I've met who profess far right-wing views.
On the left, you have some fairly whacked out ideas as well. Conspiracy theories abound. The government is seen as some evil that needs to be tossed down in favor of some unspecified perfect society that somehow doesn't need governing. The common theme with everyone I've personally met with these leftist views is that these people universally, and sometimes I think unconsciously feel they are smarter than others AND that they are somehow better human beings for it.
Of course, these generalizations aren't true across the board, but they are true for the people i have met.
Long story short, it is for all these reasons that I have not bothered voting. And then we come to George W. Bush. I never voted for Bush. But I didn't vote to not put him in office. Even if I did in '04, wouldn't have mattered. I was never "for" the war in Iraq. I had a long "discussion" with a friend of mine who was in the first war in Iraq how that war was not justified. We were justified in kicking the Iraqis out of Kuwait, but the rest of the "war" was just gratuitous, unnecessary and a failure. Because really, what was accomplished by it?
The second War in Iraq just as unjustified.
And then the Patriot Act. WTF? How can we call ourselves Americans if we suspend some of the fundamental reasons that make us America? George Mason refused to sign the Constitution unless it included the Bill of Rights. Its something that every single American benefits from (more than they even realize) and yet we just gave one big piece of that up without a fight. Frightening.
If we all read about an election in a small African country where the president was moved into office even though the majority of voters voted for someone else, and the area of the country where the president's brother ruled bent the rules to push him into office--well, we'd all be convince the election was rigged or tainted. Well, it happened here in the US.
Wiretapping Americans without anything other than the need to say that the government needs to listen in? Problematic.
We've stopped being America, and that needs to stop.
Of the two candidates, John McCain seems to be the more centrist one. Obama seems like one of the "extremists" I dislike. However, this is only the way things seem. The real question is what compromises the two candidates will make to get elected. McCain will compromise to the right, Obama to compromise to the center.
In the end, the choice is clear. The politics of the last 8 years, as influenced by the neo-cons, or an attempt at something, anything different. I choose the latter. I choose Obama.
As far as my own political beliefs, I'm really quite in the middle, overall. There are some things I firmly believe in that are historically "Republican" and some that are historically "Democratic." What I don't believe in is extremism--either on the right or the left. I think people that are way right-wing or way left-wing are just wrong. And there is no party that matches my views, no candidate. That remains true today.
On the right, you have people that are sheep--they listen to leaders who are trying to advance their own agendas and they don't question what they are hearing. They accept it when Rush Limbaugh tells them that Alaskan pipelines are good because pipelines give the animals that live in Alaska a warm place to snuggle up to (no, really). They believe when their religious leader tells them that some parts of the Old Testament need to be obeyed 100% without question (man shouldn't lay with man) and others can be ignored (stone the wife if she cheats) and that's all in line with what God says. This type of blind following holds true to all people I've met who profess far right-wing views.
On the left, you have some fairly whacked out ideas as well. Conspiracy theories abound. The government is seen as some evil that needs to be tossed down in favor of some unspecified perfect society that somehow doesn't need governing. The common theme with everyone I've personally met with these leftist views is that these people universally, and sometimes I think unconsciously feel they are smarter than others AND that they are somehow better human beings for it.
Of course, these generalizations aren't true across the board, but they are true for the people i have met.
Long story short, it is for all these reasons that I have not bothered voting. And then we come to George W. Bush. I never voted for Bush. But I didn't vote to not put him in office. Even if I did in '04, wouldn't have mattered. I was never "for" the war in Iraq. I had a long "discussion" with a friend of mine who was in the first war in Iraq how that war was not justified. We were justified in kicking the Iraqis out of Kuwait, but the rest of the "war" was just gratuitous, unnecessary and a failure. Because really, what was accomplished by it?
The second War in Iraq just as unjustified.
And then the Patriot Act. WTF? How can we call ourselves Americans if we suspend some of the fundamental reasons that make us America? George Mason refused to sign the Constitution unless it included the Bill of Rights. Its something that every single American benefits from (more than they even realize) and yet we just gave one big piece of that up without a fight. Frightening.
If we all read about an election in a small African country where the president was moved into office even though the majority of voters voted for someone else, and the area of the country where the president's brother ruled bent the rules to push him into office--well, we'd all be convince the election was rigged or tainted. Well, it happened here in the US.
Wiretapping Americans without anything other than the need to say that the government needs to listen in? Problematic.
We've stopped being America, and that needs to stop.
Of the two candidates, John McCain seems to be the more centrist one. Obama seems like one of the "extremists" I dislike. However, this is only the way things seem. The real question is what compromises the two candidates will make to get elected. McCain will compromise to the right, Obama to compromise to the center.
In the end, the choice is clear. The politics of the last 8 years, as influenced by the neo-cons, or an attempt at something, anything different. I choose the latter. I choose Obama.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Weekends in New York
I am spending the next two weekends in New York City.
This coming weekend is July 4th, and we're going to do three things:
1. Coney Island & Nathan's hot dog eating contest
2. Fireworks, as seen from Roosevelt Island
3. Yankees/RedSox game
The weekend following, I'm celebrating a group 40th birthday gathering. I'm not sure how to better describe it. I still am in (relatively) close touch with my 4 best friends from high school. This year, we all turn 40. Due to lots of different schedules, families and locations, we're going to get together for one weekend to celebrate.
The 5 of us have managed to keep close through 4 marriages, 4 kids, 3 adoptions, 2 parental divorces, 1 parental passing, 1 PhD, 3 Master Degrees, 2 college dropouts (hiatuses), 21 years of a hand-written chain letter and countless "i'm in town for one day, let's do lunch" type drop-ins.''
For a group of women, we've managed to only have one disagreement about boys, thankfully. Compared to my other friends, this is apparently quite the accomplishment.
Yet, despite all this, I still remain a bit anxious about our Birthday Gathering. Its now taken on the importance of capital letters, I guess.
I honestly can't remember the last time the 5 of us were together. I think it might have been our 5th-year high school reunion. I'm not counting weddings because one of us was (obviously) otherwise occupied during those occasions.
So what if we have nothing in common but crazy memories of our halcyon days? (side note: i have no idea exactly what that means but always wanted to drop it into conversation or blogversation). Will we be stuck with minutes of uncomfortable pauses? Will I fall back on babbling like I always do to fill an uncomfortable silence?
I'm probably more curious than worried. There is a part of me, the unsocial part, that will just be curious to sit back and observe the dynamic like I'm examining lab rats. That probably won't go over to well.
None of the girls going on the trip read this blog. Hell, I don't think anyone reads this blog. So there is no chance they will be influenced by my nerves, but I am wondering if they feel the same way I do...
This coming weekend is July 4th, and we're going to do three things:
1. Coney Island & Nathan's hot dog eating contest
2. Fireworks, as seen from Roosevelt Island
3. Yankees/RedSox game
The weekend following, I'm celebrating a group 40th birthday gathering. I'm not sure how to better describe it. I still am in (relatively) close touch with my 4 best friends from high school. This year, we all turn 40. Due to lots of different schedules, families and locations, we're going to get together for one weekend to celebrate.
The 5 of us have managed to keep close through 4 marriages, 4 kids, 3 adoptions, 2 parental divorces, 1 parental passing, 1 PhD, 3 Master Degrees, 2 college dropouts (hiatuses), 21 years of a hand-written chain letter and countless "i'm in town for one day, let's do lunch" type drop-ins.''
For a group of women, we've managed to only have one disagreement about boys, thankfully. Compared to my other friends, this is apparently quite the accomplishment.
Yet, despite all this, I still remain a bit anxious about our Birthday Gathering. Its now taken on the importance of capital letters, I guess.
I honestly can't remember the last time the 5 of us were together. I think it might have been our 5th-year high school reunion. I'm not counting weddings because one of us was (obviously) otherwise occupied during those occasions.
So what if we have nothing in common but crazy memories of our halcyon days? (side note: i have no idea exactly what that means but always wanted to drop it into conversation or blogversation). Will we be stuck with minutes of uncomfortable pauses? Will I fall back on babbling like I always do to fill an uncomfortable silence?
I'm probably more curious than worried. There is a part of me, the unsocial part, that will just be curious to sit back and observe the dynamic like I'm examining lab rats. That probably won't go over to well.
None of the girls going on the trip read this blog. Hell, I don't think anyone reads this blog. So there is no chance they will be influenced by my nerves, but I am wondering if they feel the same way I do...
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Thank You, George Lucas
I'm a very avid reader. I have been since I was young. I used to sneak a flashlight into bed so that I could continue to read after my parents turned the lights out. The words created such vivid images in my mind, and took me to places I would never imagine on my own.
Movies sometimes have the same power for me. When a movie can create a sense of wonder and realism and emotion for me, I am instantly hooked. My "top ten" of movies is really quite simple.
1. Star Wars
2. Indiana Jones
3. The Lord of the Rings
I remember seeing Star Wars for the first time so clearly. My mom had a long day of me and my 4 brothers. She sent my dad out with the oldest of us to go the movies so she could have some quiet time. My younger brothers being just 6 stayed at home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, had an experience I would never forget, even after 31 years.
I waited 4 hours in line to see Empire Strikes Back. 6 hours to see Return of the Jedi. I fell in love with Han Solo. I had dreams of Mark Hamill vacuuming my ceiling in a blue and red striped rugby shirt. Don't ask. Really. Star Wars was a major influence in my life--and in more ways than I have time to write about here.
When it came time for the Star Wars prequels, I thought I had reached Nirvana (nerdvana?). As the opening began to roll, I grabbed my husband's arm and squeezed tight. He looked over at me and laughed. I was crying tears of joy and excitement.
[hey, i never claimed to not be a loser here]
2 hours later I felt a profound sense of loss. George Lucas f-ed up. In his quest for either technical perfection or the almighty marketing dollar, he somehow screwed over my childhood. Episodes 2 and 3 lessened the hurt a little bit, but not much. Somewhere, Lucas lost the heart of the story. The relationships that held the action together and created a world in which I wanted to live.
Fast forward to May 24, 2008.
I'm entrusting a rehash of my childhood memories to George Lucas again. This time, though, Steven Spielberg is involved. I'm feeling more optimistic.
The theatre goes dark, and my husband is again laughing at me as I am again wiping away the tears. The movie opens in classic Spielberg fashion. Your first shot of Indy is in shadow--putting on the battered fedora. With that one bit of cinematography, I knew everything was going to be ok.
I smiled. A HUGE smile. One that didn't leave my face for 2 hours and 4 minutes.
Thank you, George Lucas. For not killing my fond memories and having to provide a condition on my love.
Movies sometimes have the same power for me. When a movie can create a sense of wonder and realism and emotion for me, I am instantly hooked. My "top ten" of movies is really quite simple.
1. Star Wars
2. Indiana Jones
3. The Lord of the Rings
I remember seeing Star Wars for the first time so clearly. My mom had a long day of me and my 4 brothers. She sent my dad out with the oldest of us to go the movies so she could have some quiet time. My younger brothers being just 6 stayed at home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, had an experience I would never forget, even after 31 years.
I waited 4 hours in line to see Empire Strikes Back. 6 hours to see Return of the Jedi. I fell in love with Han Solo. I had dreams of Mark Hamill vacuuming my ceiling in a blue and red striped rugby shirt. Don't ask. Really. Star Wars was a major influence in my life--and in more ways than I have time to write about here.
When it came time for the Star Wars prequels, I thought I had reached Nirvana (nerdvana?). As the opening began to roll, I grabbed my husband's arm and squeezed tight. He looked over at me and laughed. I was crying tears of joy and excitement.
[hey, i never claimed to not be a loser here]
2 hours later I felt a profound sense of loss. George Lucas f-ed up. In his quest for either technical perfection or the almighty marketing dollar, he somehow screwed over my childhood. Episodes 2 and 3 lessened the hurt a little bit, but not much. Somewhere, Lucas lost the heart of the story. The relationships that held the action together and created a world in which I wanted to live.
Fast forward to May 24, 2008.
I'm entrusting a rehash of my childhood memories to George Lucas again. This time, though, Steven Spielberg is involved. I'm feeling more optimistic.
The theatre goes dark, and my husband is again laughing at me as I am again wiping away the tears. The movie opens in classic Spielberg fashion. Your first shot of Indy is in shadow--putting on the battered fedora. With that one bit of cinematography, I knew everything was going to be ok.
I smiled. A HUGE smile. One that didn't leave my face for 2 hours and 4 minutes.
Thank you, George Lucas. For not killing my fond memories and having to provide a condition on my love.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Lawsuits and Arbitration, Oh My!
Troy and I bought a condo in Vegas a few years ago--pre-Zack. We viewed it as a good investment, and liked the convenience factor of it. And although ability to travel to Vegas has diminished (with the arrival of Zack and the big job changes), we are still very glad we made the purchase.
One of the appealing things about the purchase was that it is a condo-hotel project. Which means that we can easily rent the condo out without having to either hire a property management company or be there in person.
One year has passed since we bought, and we've recently learned that some of the other owners have filed a lawsuit against the builder for violating some laws during the sales process. In reading it over, the lawsuit has some merit. But their first step was overturned by a judge because the condo owners didn't go through the arbitration process first as agreed upon in our purchase agreements.
I never understand why people resort to lawsuits. There is one party who makes good with lawsuits. That's the lawyers for the little people who try to take on the Big Guys. They get paid no matter what the outcome. The Big Guys have lawyers on staff, so the marginal cost of fighting a lawsuit is zero. Makes it a tough world. And the only hope, imho, that the little people have is if the Big Guy wants to avoid negative publicity about the whole thing.
In this case, I am upset that no attempt to go to arbitration was made. They want the builder to buy back their units. I don't want to sell mine at all.
Instead, I just want to make a bit more money off of the rental program. So I came to Vegas to a meeting of other owners, opened my mouth and now took the lead on trying to move our complaints on the rental program forward to arbitration.
Oh my.
One of the appealing things about the purchase was that it is a condo-hotel project. Which means that we can easily rent the condo out without having to either hire a property management company or be there in person.
One year has passed since we bought, and we've recently learned that some of the other owners have filed a lawsuit against the builder for violating some laws during the sales process. In reading it over, the lawsuit has some merit. But their first step was overturned by a judge because the condo owners didn't go through the arbitration process first as agreed upon in our purchase agreements.
I never understand why people resort to lawsuits. There is one party who makes good with lawsuits. That's the lawyers for the little people who try to take on the Big Guys. They get paid no matter what the outcome. The Big Guys have lawyers on staff, so the marginal cost of fighting a lawsuit is zero. Makes it a tough world. And the only hope, imho, that the little people have is if the Big Guy wants to avoid negative publicity about the whole thing.
In this case, I am upset that no attempt to go to arbitration was made. They want the builder to buy back their units. I don't want to sell mine at all.
Instead, I just want to make a bit more money off of the rental program. So I came to Vegas to a meeting of other owners, opened my mouth and now took the lead on trying to move our complaints on the rental program forward to arbitration.
Oh my.
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